Usually Parents ask me this question when we discuss about having rules and discipline in their Child's life;
"Will rules make my Child rebel?”
My answer to this question is NO
Rules are one way to let your Child know you care. Many kids admit that when their parents are ‘strict’, it’s “for their own good.” Most grown up kids appreciate having rules even when they protest your rules and authority.
Key to place rules is " Have Rules that Make Sense"
It's important to understand which all rules shall be placed and how these shall be placed.
Categorize rules in two parts;
- Firm Rules
- Flexible Rules
Some rules are firm and not to be changed whether your Child agrees with them or not. These
rules are understood by both parents and Child. Use firm rules when:
- Physical or Emotional Health and Safety is at stake
- The Family’s Values are at stake
Some rules are open for discussion and can be negotiated, waived or changed, if there is a
good reason. Use flexible rules when:
- It’s not a health and safety issue
- The issue does not affect or compromise family’s values
HOW TO PLACE RULES:
The biggest mistake we as parents do while placing a rule is,
“Because I say so!”
When parents arbitrarily lay down the law - without explaining why or listening to
their Child’s point of view, they will get nagging and whining or worse, lying and
doing things behind your back.
Involving your child in the process of setting rules is a great way
to help her learn acceptable behavior and make decisions when
you’re not there.
Keep your rules & expectations clear.
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